Bible Verses About Narcissism

The word “narcissism” is used frequently today to describe people who are extremely self-centred, prideful, manipulative, controlling or lacking in genuine concern for others. It can be especially difficult to understand these behaviours when they occur in a close relationship, because a person may appear kind and loving to others while behaving very differently behind closed doors.

If you have experienced this kind of relationship, you may have found yourself asking difficult questions. Why does this person seem so focused on themselves? Why do they refuse to take responsibility? Why do they seem unable to admit when they have done something wrong? And perhaps most painfully, what does the Bible say I am supposed to do about it?

The Bible does not use the modern psychological term “narcissism,” nor does Scripture give us permission to diagnose another person with a mental disorder simply because they display certain behaviours. However, the Bible speaks extensively about the heart attitudes and behaviours that can resemble what we now describe as narcissistic behaviour.

Scripture warns us about pride, selfishness, arrogance, deceit, quarrelling, cruelty, a lack of love and people who place themselves above others. At the same time, the Bible calls us to humility, truth, wisdom, forgiveness and love.

Understanding that distinction is important because the purpose of studying what the Bible says about narcissistic behaviour should not be to give someone a label. It should help us understand what God considers right and wrong, how we should treat others, and how we can respond wisely when another person’s behaviour is harmful.

Quick Answer: What Does the Bible Say About Narcissism?

The Bible does not use the word “narcissism,” but it strongly condemns pride, selfishness, arrogance, self-centredness and behaviour that disregards or harms other people.

One of the clearest passages is 2 Timothy 3, where Paul describes people in the last days as being “lovers of their own selves.” He then describes a long list of behaviours including boasting, pride, disobedience, unthankfulness, lack of natural affection, false accusations, betrayal and a lack of self-control.

2 Timothy 3:1–5 — Lovers of Their Own Selves

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”

This passage is one of the reasons people often connect biblical teaching with narcissistic behaviour.

Paul describes people whose lives have become profoundly self-centred. They love themselves, pursue their own interests, boast about themselves, become proud and disregard what is good.

But notice something important: Paul gives us a description of sinful behaviour, not a modern psychiatric diagnosis.

We should therefore be careful about saying, “The Bible says this person is a narcissist.” A more biblically accurate statement is that the Bible condemns the prideful and self-centred behaviours that can be present in narcissistic relationships.

Does the Bible Condemn Self-Love?

The Bible does not teach that we should hate ourselves or believe that we have no value.

There is an important difference between recognising that every human being has dignity because they were created by God and making ourselves the centre of everything.

Jesus taught us to love our neighbour as ourselves, which assumes a natural concern for our own wellbeing. The problem arises when self-love becomes selfishness, pride or the elevation of ourselves above other people.

Philippians 2:3–4 — Put Others Before Yourself

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

This is almost the opposite of the self-centred behaviour Scripture warns against.

Biblical humility does not mean believing that you are worthless.

It means that you do not have to make yourself the most important person in every situation.

A humble person can recognise their own needs while still caring about the needs of others.

Is Pride at the Root of Narcissistic Behaviour?

Pride is one of the clearest themes Scripture associates with destructive behaviour.

The Bible repeatedly warns that pride can lead a person toward destruction because pride makes it difficult to recognise our own faults, receive correction or acknowledge our need for God.

Proverbs 16:18 — Pride Goes Before Destruction

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

Pride can be subtle.

It is not always someone openly saying, “I am better than everyone else.”

Sometimes pride appears as an inability to apologise, a refusal to admit wrongdoing, an insistence that everything must be someone else’s fault or an unwillingness to listen when someone points out harmful behaviour.

A person who never believes they could be wrong will have very little reason to change.

Does God Hate Pride?

Scripture is remarkably direct about God’s attitude toward pride.

Proverbs 6:16–19 — Things the Lord Hates

“These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”

A proud look appears first in this list.

That does not mean every confident person is sinful or that having healthy self-esteem is wrong. Scripture is addressing prideful hearts that elevate themselves and disregard what is good.

God cares about what happens in our relationships with other people.

Does the Bible Warn About Selfishness?

Yes.

Selfish ambition is repeatedly presented as something Christians should reject.

James 3:14–16 — Selfish Ambition Produces Disorder

“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.

This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”

A relationship dominated by selfish ambition can become incredibly chaotic.

When one person is constantly trying to win, control, dominate or prove themselves right, genuine peace becomes difficult.

The Bible does not call this behaviour healthy simply because the person has confidence or strong opinions.

Does the Bible Say Narcissistic Behaviour Is About More Than Confidence?

Yes.

Confidence itself is not condemned by Scripture.

David displayed courage.

Paul spoke boldly.

Jesus spoke with authority.

The problem is not simply believing that you have abilities or recognising your worth.

The biblical problem is pride that elevates self above God and others.

Romans 12:3 — Do Not Think More Highly of Yourself Than You Should

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

The Christian is not called to think, “I am worthless.”

Neither are we called to think, “I am superior to everyone else.”

We are called to think soberly.

That means having an honest and appropriately humble view of ourselves.

What Does the Bible Say About Someone Who Refuses Correction?

One of the most difficult behaviours to deal with is someone who cannot accept correction.

A person may repeatedly hurt others while insisting that everyone else is the problem.

Scripture warns us about this kind of pride.

Proverbs 12:1 — Loving Correction

“Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish.”

A willingness to receive correction is an important part of spiritual maturity.

None of us gets everything right.

A humble person can hear, “That hurt me,” or, “You were wrong,” and consider whether there is truth in what has been said.

A prideful person may instead become defensive, angry or determined to punish the person who confronted them.

Does the Bible Say We Should Always Agree With Someone to Keep the Peace?

No.

Biblical peace is not the same thing as pretending that wrongdoing did not happen.

Sometimes people believe that being a Christian means keeping quiet no matter how badly someone treats them.

That is not what Scripture teaches.

Ephesians 5:11 — Have No Fellowship With the Works of Darkness

“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”

Christians are called to love people, but love does not require us to approve of sinful behaviour.

There are circumstances where speaking the truth is necessary.

Does the Bible Address Deceit and Lying?

Yes.

Deception can be extremely destructive in relationships.

Proverbs 12:22 — Lying Lips Are an Abomination

“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

God values truth.

This matters when dealing with relationships where facts are repeatedly distorted, blame is shifted or one person’s version of events is continually presented as the only possible truth.

We should be careful not to assume that every disagreement means someone is deliberately lying. People can genuinely remember situations differently.

But deliberate deception is something Scripture takes seriously.

What Does the Bible Say About False Accusations?

Scripture also warns about falsely accusing others.

Exodus 20:16 — Do Not Bear False Witness

“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.”

False accusations can cause enormous damage.

They can destroy someone’s reputation, relationships and sense of security.

This is particularly important when someone attempts to protect themselves from accountability by continually portraying another person as the sole cause of every problem.

What Does the Bible Say About Manipulation?

The Bible does not use the modern psychological phrase “narcissistic manipulation,” but Scripture certainly describes deceitful and controlling behaviour.

Psalm 101:7 — Deceitful People

“He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight.”

God cares about integrity.

A healthy relationship cannot be built on continual deception.

Does the Bible Tell Us to Guard Ourselves?

Yes.

Christians are called to exercise wisdom rather than placing themselves unnecessarily in harmful situations.

Proverbs 4:23 — Guard Your Heart

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

This verse does not specifically teach modern psychological boundaries, and we should not pretend that it does.

However, the principle is clear: we are responsible for exercising wisdom concerning what we allow to influence our hearts and lives.

Guarding your heart does not mean becoming hateful or unforgiving.

It means recognising that what surrounds you matters.

Does the Bible Support Having Boundaries?

The Bible does not use the modern word “boundaries” in the way we commonly use it in counselling today, but Scripture contains many principles of wisdom about relationships, correction, separation from destructive behaviour and the limits of our responsibilities.

Proverbs 22:3 — The Prudent Sees Danger

“A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.”

Wisdom pays attention to danger.

If someone repeatedly behaves in a destructive way, pretending that the behaviour does not exist is not necessarily biblical kindness.

There are times when stepping back from a harmful situation is wise.

Does Forgiving Someone Mean You Must Stay Close to Them?

No.

This is an important distinction, particularly for people who have experienced serious relational harm.

The Bible commands forgiveness, but forgiveness does not mean that you must restore the same level of trust to someone who continues to behave destructively.

Luke 17:3–4 — Forgiveness and Repentance

“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”

Notice that Jesus includes rebuke and repentance in this teaching.

Biblical forgiveness does not require us to call wrongdoing acceptable.

There is a difference between forgiving someone and pretending that trust has never been damaged.

What If Someone Continues to Hurt You?

Scripture does not tell you to remain in every relationship under every circumstance simply because you are a Christian.

There are situations where distance is necessary.

Titus 3:10–11 — Step Away From a Divisive Person

“A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject;

Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.”

The immediate context concerns a divisive or factious person, so this passage should not casually be applied to every difficult relationship.

However, it does demonstrate an important biblical principle: there are circumstances in which continued engagement is not wise.

Christian love does not require endless participation in destructive conflict.

Does the Bible Tell Us to Avoid Constant Arguments?

Yes.

Proverbs 26:4 — Do Not Answer a Fool According to His Folly

“Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.”

There are arguments that accomplish nothing.

If someone is committed to turning every conversation into another battle, continuing to argue may simply pull you deeper into the conflict.

Wisdom sometimes means knowing when to stop responding.

What Does the Bible Say About Quarrelling?

Proverbs 17:14 — Leave Strife Before It Escalates

“The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.”

Once an argument becomes increasingly heated, it can be difficult to regain control.

Walking away from an escalating argument is not necessarily weakness.

Sometimes it is wisdom.

What If Someone Always Blames Other People?

Scripture teaches personal responsibility.

Galatians 6:5 — Each Person Bears Their Own Burden

“For every man shall bear his own burden.”

This verse occurs within a broader passage about helping one another and should not be interpreted as meaning that Christians must never help people carry difficult circumstances.

Its point is that there is also a personal responsibility each person must carry.

You can support another person.

You can encourage them.

You can pray for them.

But you cannot repent for someone else, make their choices for them or force them to change.

Can You Change a Narcissistic Person?

You cannot change another person’s heart for them.

This is true whether or not the person would be described as narcissistic.

God gives each person responsibility for their own response to truth.

Ezekiel 18:30–31 — Turn From Sin

“Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord God. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin.

Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?”

You can speak truth.

You can set limits.

You can forgive.

You can pray.

But you cannot make another adult repent.

What If You Keep Trying to Make Someone Understand What They Did?

Sometimes we become exhausted because we are trying to make another person finally understand our pain.

We explain it again.

Then again.

We provide examples.

We try to find the perfect words.

And eventually we realise that understanding cannot be forced.

Proverbs 9:8 — Do Not Waste Correction on Someone Who Will Not Receive It

“Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.”

The Bible recognises that different people respond differently to correction.

A wise person can receive it.

A scorner may respond with hostility.

That does not mean we should never speak truth. It means we should use wisdom in deciding how and when to engage.

What Does the Bible Say About Humility?

The biblical answer to pride is not another form of pride.

It is humility.

James 4:6 — God Gives Grace to the Humble

“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”

God takes pride seriously.

At the same time, this verse gives hope.

Humility creates room for grace because a humble person is willing to recognise their need for God.

What Does the Bible Say About Loving Difficult People?

Jesus calls His followers to love even their enemies.

That is one of the most challenging teachings in the Bible.

Matthew 5:44 — Love Your Enemies

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

Loving someone does not mean approving of everything they do.

It does not mean giving them unlimited access to you.

It does not mean refusing to protect yourself from harm.

It means that even when someone has treated you badly, you do not have to become consumed by hatred and revenge.

Does Loving Someone Mean You Must Trust Them?

No.

Love and trust are related, but they are not identical.

Trust is built through consistent behaviour.

The Bible teaches us to be loving while also exercising discernment.

Matthew 10:16 — Be Wise and Harmless

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”

Jesus Himself told His disciples to be both wise and harmless.

Christianity does not require naivety.

You can have a compassionate heart while still recognising when someone is behaving in a dangerous or destructive way.

What If You Have Been Hurt by a Narcissistic Person?

If you have spent a long time in a relationship where you were constantly criticised, blamed, manipulated, controlled or made to feel that everything was your fault, it can be difficult to know what to believe anymore.

You may have begun questioning your own judgement.

You may wonder whether you are being unforgiving simply because you need distance.

You may even feel guilty for wanting peace.

God does not ask you to call evil good in order to prove that you are loving.

Isaiah 5:20 — Do Not Call Evil Good

“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”

Truth matters to God.

If something is genuinely wrong, giving it a more comfortable name does not make it right.

Does God Care About People Who Have Been Mistreated?

Absolutely.

God repeatedly demonstrates concern for people who are vulnerable, oppressed and mistreated.

Psalm 34:18 — God Is Near the Brokenhearted

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”

If you have been deeply hurt by another person, God does not look at your pain and tell you that it does not matter.

He is near to the brokenhearted.

Does God See Injustice?

Yes.

Sometimes people who behave badly appear to escape consequences, and that can be incredibly difficult to understand.

Scripture reminds us that God sees what human beings do not always see.

Psalm 10:14 — God Sees Trouble and Grief

“Thou hast seen it; for thou beholdest mischief and spite, to requite it with thy hand: the poor committeth himself unto thee; thou art the helper of the fatherless.”

God sees.

You may feel as though nobody else understands what happened, but God is not unaware of it.

What If the Other Person Looks Wonderful to Everyone Else?

This can be particularly painful.

A person may appear generous, charming or kind publicly while behaving very differently privately.

Scripture reminds us that God sees beyond outward appearances.

1 Samuel 16:7 — God Looks at the Heart

“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

People can be deceived by appearances.

God cannot.

That does not mean we should automatically believe every accusation made against someone. It means that we can leave ultimate judgement with God rather than feeling that we must convince every person who does not understand what happened.

Should You Seek Revenge?

No.

When someone hurts us, the desire for justice can become mixed with the desire for revenge.

Scripture tells us to leave vengeance to God.

Romans 12:19 — Vengeance Belongs to God

“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

This does not mean that wrongdoing should never be reported or that people should never seek lawful protection or justice.

It means that we do not need to become the judge, jury and executioner ourselves.

What Does the Bible Say About Revenge and Forgiveness?

Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to understand when the person who hurt you has not acknowledged what they did.

Biblical forgiveness is not pretending the wrong never happened.

It is releasing personal vengeance to God and refusing to allow hatred to become the ruler of your heart.

Ephesians 4:31–32 — Put Away Bitterness and Forgive

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Forgiveness is a Christian calling.

But forgiveness should not be confused with reconciliation without repentance, restored trust without evidence of change or remaining in a situation where you are being continually harmed.

What Is the Biblical Opposite of Narcissism?

The opposite of narcissistic behaviour is not self-hatred.

It is Christlike humility and love.

Philippians 2:5–8 — Christ’s Example of Humility

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:

But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

Jesus had every right to glory.

Yet He willingly humbled Himself and served others.

This gives Christians a completely different model of greatness.

Biblical greatness is not about demanding that everyone else serve you.

It is about being willing to serve.

What Does the Bible Say About Putting Others First?

Romans 12:10 — Honour One Another

“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”

A healthy Christian relationship should not revolve entirely around one person’s needs, desires and feelings.

There should be room for mutual care.

That does not mean every relationship will be perfectly equal at every moment. Someone who is sick, grieving or struggling may need more support for a season.

But a pattern of one person always taking while the other continually gives is not the picture of mutual love Scripture presents.

What Does the Bible Say About Love?

One of the clearest ways Scripture contrasts selfishness with godly character is through the biblical description of love.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 — Biblical Love

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Notice the phrase “seeketh not her own.”

Biblical love is not entirely focused on what it can get.

It does not require constant admiration.

It is not built around winning every argument.

It seeks the good of another person.

Does the Bible Tell Us to Examine Our Own Hearts Too?

Yes.

It is important that an article about narcissism does not become an excuse for us to see ourselves as righteous while simply labelling everyone else as the problem.

Jesus taught His followers to examine themselves before judging others.

Matthew 7:3–5 — Examine Your Own Heart

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

This does not mean that we should ignore another person’s wrongdoing.

Jesus ultimately says, “then shalt thou see clearly.”

Self-examination helps us approach difficult situations with honesty rather than pride.

What If You Are Wondering Whether You Are the Narcissist?

Perhaps you came to this article because someone has told you that you are narcissistic.

If so, do not immediately dismiss the possibility, but do not automatically accept the label either.

Instead, examine your behaviour honestly before God.

Are you willing to apologise?

Can you accept correction?

Do you listen when someone tells you that you have hurt them?

Do you take responsibility for your choices?

Are you willing to admit when you are wrong?

Do you care about the wellbeing of other people, even when there is nothing in it for you?

Psalm 139:23–24 — Ask God to Search Your Heart

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

That is a much healthier approach than simply asking, “Am I a narcissist?”

The deeper question is:

“Lord, is there anything in my heart or behaviour that needs to change?”

Can a Proud Person Change?

Yes.

The Bible repeatedly calls sinful people to repentance.

No person is beyond God’s ability to transform when they genuinely turn to Him.

2 Corinthians 5:17 — A New Creation in Christ

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

Christianity is not simply about learning how to behave better.

It is about being transformed through Christ.

A person who genuinely submits themselves to God should increasingly become more humble, loving, truthful and willing to repent.

What If the Person Will Not Change?

This is one of the hardest realities.

You can pray for someone.

You can speak truth.

You can forgive.

You can encourage repentance.

But you cannot make another person choose humility.

Revelation 3:20 — Christ Invites Us to Open the Door

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

God does not force Himself upon people.

There is a response each person must make.

That is why it is important not to spend your entire life believing that you can somehow love another person enough to make them change.

Bible Verses About Narcissistic Behaviour

The Bible contains many passages that address the pride, selfishness, arrogance and lack of love that can characterise narcissistic behaviour.

2 Timothy 3:1–5 — Lovers of Their Own Selves

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”

Proverbs 16:18 — Pride Goes Before Destruction

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

Philippians 2:3–4 — Consider Others

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

James 3:16 — Envy and Strife

“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”

Proverbs 12:22 — God Hates Lying

“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

Proverbs 4:23 — Guard Your Heart

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

Matthew 7:3–5 — Examine Yourself

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

Romans 12:10 — Honour Others

“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 — What Genuine Love Looks Like

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

James 4:6 — God Resists the Proud

“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”

What Should a Christian Do When Dealing With Narcissistic Behaviour?

There is no single verse that gives Christians a step-by-step formula for dealing with a person we would call a narcissist.

Instead, Scripture gives us principles that can guide us.

Tell the truth rather than participating in deception.

Exercise wisdom rather than ignoring obvious danger.

Do not allow another person’s pride to make you proud.

Forgive rather than seeking revenge.

Set appropriate limits where wisdom requires them.

Do not take responsibility for another adult’s choices.

Pray for those who have hurt you.

Seek godly counsel when you are unsure what to do.

And if the situation involves abuse, threats, violence or serious danger, seeking appropriate practical help and protection is not a failure to trust God.

Proverbs 11:14 — Seek Wise Counsel

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”

Sometimes we are simply too close to a situation to see it clearly.

A mature Christian, pastor, counsellor or other trustworthy person may be able to help you recognise what you cannot see for yourself.

What Is the Most Important Thing to Remember?

If you have been dealing with someone who is extremely self-centred, controlling, prideful or manipulative, it can become easy to spend all of your energy trying to understand them.

You may spend years asking yourself why they behave this way.

You may analyse every conversation.

You may wonder what you could have done differently.

You may keep hoping that if you find the right words, they will finally understand.

But there comes a point when you also need to remember your own responsibility before God.

You are responsible for your own heart.

You are responsible for how you respond.

You are responsible for whether you choose truth over bitterness.

You are responsible for whether you seek revenge or leave vengeance with God.

But you are not responsible for controlling another person’s heart.

Romans 12:18 — Live Peaceably as Far as Possible

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

That little phrase “if it be possible” matters.

Paul does not say that you can guarantee peace with every person.

You can control your own conduct.

You cannot control theirs.

Final Thought

The Bible does not use the modern word “narcissism,” but it certainly has something important to say about the kind of behaviour that word is often used to describe.

Scripture warns us about people who become lovers of themselves, who are proud, boastful, selfish, deceitful and unwilling to live with humility.

At the same time, the Bible does not call us to respond to pride with pride.

It calls us to remain grounded in truth, to walk in wisdom, to love others, to forgive, to guard our hearts and to leave ultimate judgement in God’s hands.

If you have been hurt by someone who continually refuses responsibility for their actions, please remember that their refusal to acknowledge what they have done does not determine what is true.

God sees the heart.

God sees what happens in secret.

God sees the tears that other people never see.

Psalm 34:18 — God Is Near the Brokenhearted

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”

And if you are wondering whether you should keep trying to change someone who refuses to change, remember that God has never asked you to take responsibility for another person’s heart.

You can love someone without enabling their behaviour.

You can forgive someone without pretending that what happened was acceptable.

You can pray for someone without giving them unlimited access to your life.

You can seek peace without accepting abuse.

And you can place justice in God’s hands without carrying hatred in your heart.

Psalm 55:22 — Give Your Burden to the Lord

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

You do not have to carry the responsibility of changing another person.

Bring what has happened to God.

Ask Him for wisdom.

Ask Him to search your own heart.

Ask Him to give you strength to do what is right.

And when you cannot see what to do next, remember that God sees the entire situation even when you cannot.

James 1:5 — Ask God for Wisdom

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

God does not condemn you for needing wisdom.

He invites you to ask.

And sometimes, particularly when we have been deeply affected by another person’s behaviour, asking God for wisdom is one of the most important places we can begin.

✨ Still have a question?

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You can also leave your questions on my YouTube channel, where I share clear, practical encouragement, and answers to common questions.