Bible Verses About Dating

Dating can be exciting, but it can also bring a lot of questions. You might really like someone and wonder whether the relationship is good for you. You might be trying to decide what you should look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend, how far is too far physically, or how to know whether a relationship is honouring God.

The Bible doesn’t give us a modern dating handbook, because dating as we know it today isn’t the way relationships were generally described in biblical times. But that doesn’t mean the Bible has nothing to say about dating. Scripture gives us plenty of wisdom about love, purity, character, wisdom, commitment, relationships and the kind of person we should become.

If you’re dating, or hoping to date someone, God’s Word gives you a much better foundation than simply following your feelings.

Quick Answer

The Bible doesn’t specifically tell Christians how modern dating should work, but it gives clear principles for choosing relationships and treating one another.

A Christian should seek God first, look for godly character rather than appearance alone, pursue sexual purity, be honest, use wisdom, pay attention to how the other person treats people, and avoid relationships that pull them away from Christ.

Dating isn’t just about finding someone you are attracted to. It is an opportunity to learn whether a relationship is healthy, whether your values and faith are compatible, and whether the two of you can honour God together.

Most importantly, don’t let the desire to have a relationship become more important than your relationship with God.

Does the Bible Talk About Dating?

The word “dating” doesn’t appear in the Bible in the way we use it today. Scripture was written in cultures where relationships and marriage were approached differently from modern dating.

That doesn’t mean we have to guess what God thinks.

The Bible gives us principles that apply to every relationship, including romantic relationships. It talks about love, self-control, sexual purity, wisdom, honesty, faithfulness, forgiveness, humility and choosing our companions carefully.

So instead of asking only, “Does the Bible say I can date?”, a better question is, “How can I date in a way that honours God?”

That changes the focus.

You’re not simply asking whether you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re asking whether the relationship is helping you become more like Christ, whether you’re treating the other person with honour, and whether you’re making wise choices.

Seek God First

Before worrying about finding the right person, make sure you’re seeking God.

Jesus said:

Matthew 6:33

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

This doesn’t mean God promises that everyone who puts Him first will automatically receive the relationship they want. It means God deserves to be first in our lives.

Sometimes we can become so focused on wanting a relationship that we start treating it as though it will finally make us happy, complete or secure.

But another person cannot take God’s place.

A boyfriend or girlfriend cannot carry the weight of being your entire source of happiness, identity or purpose. A healthy relationship begins with two people who are learning to put God where He belongs.

Don’t Ignore Your Faith

One of the most important things to consider when entering a serious romantic relationship is whether the other person genuinely follows Christ.

Paul writes:

2 Corinthians 6:14

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

This passage is broader than dating and marriage, so we shouldn’t pretend it was written specifically as a modern dating rule. However, the principle of spiritual unity is extremely important when considering a relationship that may become serious.

Think about what happens when two people have completely different foundations.

One person wants Christ at the centre of their life while the other doesn’t. One wants to make decisions according to God’s Word while the other doesn’t. One wants to raise future children in the Christian faith while the other wants nothing to do with Christianity.

Those differences can become very painful as a relationship becomes more serious.

Shared faith doesn’t mean two Christians will agree on absolutely everything. Christians can have different personalities, interests and opinions. But there is a significant difference between having different preferences and having completely different spiritual foundations.

Look at Character, Not Just Attraction

Attraction matters in a romantic relationship. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone.

But attraction shouldn’t be the only thing you look at.

Someone can be incredibly attractive and still have a dishonest, selfish, controlling or unfaithful character.

The Bible reminds us:

1 Samuel 16:7

“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

When you’re dating someone, pay attention to who they actually are.

How do they treat people when they don’t get their way? Are they honest? Do they take responsibility when they do something wrong? Are they kind to people who can’t give them anything in return? Do they respect your boundaries? Do they keep their word? How do they speak about other people?

You don’t need someone who is perfect. Nobody is.

You do need to pay attention to character.

A person who makes mistakes but humbly admits them and wants to grow is very different from someone who continually hurts people and refuses to take responsibility.

Look for the Fruit of the Spirit

Paul gives us a beautiful description of the kind of character the Holy Spirit produces in a believer.

Galatians 5:22–23

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

These qualities can tell you a great deal about a person’s character.

Does this person show patience? Kindness? Self-control? Gentleness? Goodness?

Again, this doesn’t mean you should expect someone you’re dating to be spiritually perfect. Christians are still growing.

But there should be evidence that their faith matters to them.

Someone who constantly uses Christianity as a label while living in a way that completely contradicts it should cause you to stop and think.

Don’t Confuse Chemistry With Character

One of the hardest things about dating is that strong feelings can make it difficult to see clearly.

You may feel an incredible connection with someone. You may think about them constantly. You may feel like you’ve never met anyone like them before.

Those feelings can be real, but feelings aren’t the same thing as wisdom.

You can have chemistry with someone who isn’t good for you.

You can be deeply attracted to someone who doesn’t share your values. You can love someone who treats you badly. You can have strong feelings for someone who is dishonest, controlling or destructive.

That’s why it is important to step back and look at the whole relationship rather than making every decision based on how you feel.

Love doesn’t require you to ignore reality.

Pursue Sexual Purity

The Bible is very clear that Christians are called to sexual purity.

Paul writes:

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;

Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”

Sexual purity isn’t about God wanting to take all the joy out of a relationship.

God created sexuality, and He isn’t ashamed of it. But He also gave us boundaries for it.

Christian dating should therefore include honest conversations about physical boundaries rather than simply waiting until you’re already in a situation where temptation becomes difficult to resist.

Paul tells Timothy:

2 Timothy 2:22

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Sometimes wisdom means knowing when to walk away from a situation before you fall into temptation.

Love Is More Than Strong Feelings

We often use the word “love” to describe very strong emotions.

But the Bible gives us a much deeper picture of love.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Notice how much of biblical love has to do with character.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love isn’t selfish.

Love doesn’t celebrate wrongdoing.

Love rejoices in truth.

That’s important when you’re dating because someone telling you “I love you” doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is healthy.

Look at how that love is actually expressed.

Don’t Ignore Red Flags

Being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to stay in a relationship that is harmful.

This is something I think is especially important to say because sometimes people can misunderstand biblical ideas about love, forgiveness and patience.

If someone is controlling, manipulative, threatening, abusive, repeatedly dishonest or deliberately hurting you, don’t convince yourself that you have to remain in the relationship because you’re supposed to “love them.”

You can forgive someone without continuing a relationship with them.

You can pray for someone without trusting them.

You can care about someone without giving them access to you.

And you can recognise that a relationship is unhealthy without becoming hateful toward the other person.

God calls us to wisdom, not blindness.

Be Honest With Each Other

A healthy relationship needs honesty.

That includes being honest about your faith, your expectations, your boundaries, your intentions and the things that matter to you.

Ephesians 4:25 says:

“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.”

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not because you’re afraid the other person won’t like the real you.

And don’t hide important things because you think honesty might cause the relationship to end.

If a relationship can only survive when you’re pretending, hiding or constantly trying to become someone else, that’s worth paying attention to.

Seek Wise Counsel

When you’re emotionally involved with someone, it can be difficult to see everything clearly.

That’s one reason wise counsel can be so valuable.

Proverbs says:

Proverbs 15:22

“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.”

Talk to mature Christians you trust.

That might be a parent, pastor, mentor or another godly person who knows you well and isn’t afraid to tell you the truth.

You don’t have to follow every piece of advice someone gives you. But don’t automatically shut out people who care about you simply because they see something you don’t want to see.

Sometimes someone outside the relationship can notice things that you’re too emotionally involved to recognise.

Don’t Rush Because You’re Afraid of Being Alone

Loneliness can make us accept things we wouldn’t normally accept.

When you desperately want someone to love you, you can start overlooking things that should concern you because having someone feels better than being alone.

But being in the wrong relationship isn’t the cure for loneliness.

You don’t have to rush.

You don’t have to settle for someone who doesn’t respect you.

You don’t have to ignore serious problems because you’re afraid you won’t find someone else.

And you don’t have to believe that being single means something is wrong with you.

Your worth doesn’t come from whether you currently have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Your worth comes from God.

Dating Shouldn’t Pull You Away From God

One of the questions I would encourage you to ask yourself is this:

Is this relationship helping me follow Jesus, or is it slowly pulling me away from Him?

Pay attention to what happens to your relationship with God when you’re with this person.

Are you still praying?

Are you still reading God’s Word?

Are you still attending church and spending time with other Christians?

Are you becoming more honest, patient and self-controlled?

Or are you gradually compromising things you once believed because you’re afraid of losing the relationship?

A relationship doesn’t have to be perfect to be healthy. But if being with someone consistently causes you to compromise your faith, that’s something you shouldn’t ignore.

Don’t Expect a Relationship to Complete You

It can be easy to think, “If I could just find the right person, everything would finally fall into place.”

But another human being cannot complete what only God can provide.

Marriage and romantic relationships can be wonderful gifts, but they aren’t designed to replace God.

You can love someone deeply and still need God more.

You can enjoy companionship while remembering that your ultimate identity is found in Christ.

And you can desire marriage without believing that your life has no purpose until you get married.

What Should I Look For in Someone I’m Dating?

Look beyond whether you find the person attractive or whether you have strong chemistry.

Look at their character.

Do they genuinely follow Christ? Are they honest? Are they kind? Do they take responsibility for their actions? Do they respect your boundaries? Are they faithful? Do they show self-control? How do they treat their family, friends, strangers and people who disagree with them?

And perhaps most importantly, are they becoming more like Christ?

You should also ask yourself the same questions.

It’s easy to create a list of everything we want in another person while forgetting to ask whether we’re becoming that kind of person ourselves.

Instead of only asking, “Am I finding the right person?” ask, “Am I becoming the kind of person who can love someone well?”

Bible Verses About Dating

Here are some passages that can help you think biblically about dating, relationships, love, purity and wisdom.

Matthew 6:33 — Seek God First

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

God should remain your first priority, even when you’re hoping for a relationship.

Proverbs 3:5–6 — Trust God for Direction

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Your feelings are important, but they aren’t the only thing you should trust when making a major decision.

Proverbs 13:20 — Choose Your Companions Wisely

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

The people we allow close to us influence us.

Proverbs 31:30 — Character Matters

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Outward beauty doesn’t tell you everything about a person’s heart.

Galatians 5:22–23 — Look for Spiritual Fruit

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

Godly character matters.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 — Pursue Purity

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.”

God calls Christians to sexual holiness.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 — Understand Biblical Love

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

This is a beautiful picture of what genuine love looks like.

Ephesians 4:2 — Practice Humility and Patience

“With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.”

Healthy relationships require humility, patience and grace.

2 Timothy 2:22 — Run From Temptation

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is remove yourself from temptation rather than trying to prove how strong you are.

Proverbs 15:22 — Seek Wise Counsel

“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.”

You don’t have to make relationship decisions completely on your own.

What If I’m Already Dating Someone?

If you’re already in a relationship, don’t panic if you’re reading this and realising that you’ve made mistakes.

You don’t have to have had a perfect dating history to honour God from this point forward.

Maybe you’ve crossed physical boundaries. Maybe you ignored warning signs because you were in love. Maybe you compromised your faith because you didn’t want to lose someone. Maybe you’ve been dishonest, or you’ve realised that the relationship isn’t healthy.

Bring those things to God.

Repent where you need to repent. Be honest. Make wiser boundaries. Seek godly counsel. And if the relationship is harmful or pulling you away from Christ, don’t be afraid to make a difficult decision simply because you’re emotionally attached.

God’s grace isn’t only for the beginning of your Christian life. His grace meets us when we recognise that we’ve gone the wrong way and turn back to Him.

What If I Really Want to Find Someone?

It’s okay to want love.

It’s okay to desire marriage.

It’s okay to hope that one day you’ll meet someone you can build a life with.

You don’t have to pretend you don’t care.

But while you’re waiting, don’t put your life on hold.

Grow in your relationship with God. Learn His Word. Develop your character. Build healthy friendships. Serve others. Become wiser. Heal from past relationships where you need to heal. Learn what godly love actually looks like.

And trust God with the timing.

You may not know what your future relationship status will be, but you can know that following Christ is never wasted time.

Final Thought

Dating can be wonderful, but it can also become complicated very quickly when emotions take over and wisdom gets pushed aside.

The Bible doesn’t give us a list of modern dating rules for every possible situation. Instead, it gives us something much deeper: principles that help us recognise what godly love, character, wisdom, purity and faithfulness look like.

So if you’re dating, don’t simply ask, “Do they make me happy?”

Ask whether there is honesty, respect, faithfulness and godly character.

Don’t only ask, “Am I attracted to them?”

Ask who they are when nobody is watching.

Don’t only ask, “Do they love me?”

Look at how that love is actually expressed.

And don’t forget to ask yourself, “Am I putting God first in all of this?”

You don’t need to rush into a relationship because you’re lonely. You don’t need to ignore red flags because you’re afraid of being alone. You don’t need to compromise your faith to keep someone.

Seek God first.

Let Him shape your character, guide your decisions and teach you what genuine love looks like.

And whatever your relationship status is right now, remember that your life has value and purpose because you belong to Him.

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