
Bible Verses About Respect
September 4, 2024
Bible Verses About Purpose
September 4, 2024When someone hurts you deeply, the desire for revenge can be very strong.
If someone betrayed you, lied about you, abused you, rejected you, treated you unfairly, or caused harm to someone you love, you may find yourself thinking, “They deserve to feel what they did to me.”
That desire can feel especially powerful when it seems as though the person who hurt you has never been held accountable.
The Bible, however, teaches us to respond to injustice differently. Scripture does not tell us that wrongdoing does not matter. It does not tell us to pretend that abuse is acceptable or that we should simply allow someone to continue harming us.
Instead, the Bible teaches us to surrender personal vengeance to God, pursue what is right and wise, refuse to repay evil with evil, and guard our hearts against bitterness.
This can be extremely difficult when the wound is deep. Forgiveness is often a process, and trusting God with justice does not mean that you stop caring about what happened.
Quick Answer: What Does the Bible Say About Revenge?
The Bible teaches that personal vengeance belongs to God. Christians are instructed not to repay evil with evil, but to overcome evil with good and leave ultimate judgment in God’s hands.
Romans 12:19 says:
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
This does not mean that justice is wrong. Governments, courts, authorities, and individuals can have legitimate responsibilities to address wrongdoing. Nor does forgiveness require remaining in an abusive or dangerous situation.
The biblical warning is specifically against taking personal revenge because we want to make someone suffer for what they have done to us.
God sees what happened.
God knows what was hidden.
God understands the full story.
And He is the righteous Judge.
Revenge and Justice Are Not the Same Thing
It is important to distinguish revenge from justice.
Revenge says, “You hurt me, so I will hurt you back.”
Justice seeks what is right and appropriate in response to wrongdoing.
The Bible does not teach that Christians should ignore crime, tolerate abuse, protect someone from accountability, or refuse to seek lawful help.
Romans 13:3–4 explains that governing authorities have a role in restraining wrongdoing:
“For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:
For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.”
So there is a difference between seeking appropriate justice and personally retaliating because we want someone to suffer.
You can report abuse.
You can seek legal protection.
You can establish boundaries.
You can refuse contact with someone who is harming you.
You can seek accountability.
And you can still choose not to live consumed by hatred or personal vengeance.
Vengeance Belongs to God
One of the clearest teachings in Scripture is that ultimate vengeance belongs to God.
Deuteronomy 32:35 says:
“To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.”
Paul repeats this principle in Romans 12:19.
Why does this matter?
Because when someone has seriously wronged us, we can become consumed with the need to make things right ourselves.
We replay what happened.
We imagine what we wish we had said.
We think about how we could hurt them back.
We watch to see whether they are suffering.
We may even begin measuring our healing by whether the other person has been punished.
But God calls us to surrender that burden to Him.
That does not mean the injustice was unimportant.
It means we do not have to become the judge, jury, and executioner of the person who hurt us.
Do Not Repay Evil With Evil
Romans 12:17 says:
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.”
This is one of the hardest commands to follow when we have genuinely been wronged.
Our natural response may be, “But they started it.”
Or, “They deserve it.”
Or, “Why should I be the one who has to take the high road?”
The answer is not that what happened to you was acceptable.
The answer is that another person’s sin does not give us permission to become sinful in response.
If someone lies about you, you do not have to lie about them.
If someone humiliates you, you do not have to humiliate them.
If someone treats you cruelly, you do not have to become cruel yourself.
This does not mean remaining passive. It means responding in a way that does not allow their wrongdoing to dictate your character.
Overcome Evil With Good
Romans 12:20–21 continues:
“Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The final sentence is especially important.
“Be not overcome of evil.”
When someone hurts us, we can become so focused on what they did that their actions begin controlling our thoughts, emotions, and behaviour.
The person may no longer even be present, yet we continue carrying them around in our minds.
God calls us to something different.
Do not allow evil to reproduce itself in you.
Do not allow someone else’s hatred to make you hateful.
Do not allow their cruelty to destroy your ability to love.
Do not allow their wrongdoing to pull you away from Christ.
Overcoming evil with good does not mean approving of evil. It means refusing to let evil have the final word over the kind of person you become.
What If I Am Still Angry?
You do not have to pretend that you are not angry.
The Bible contains many prayers in which people honestly brought their pain, grief, fear, and anger before God.
God already knows what happened and knows exactly how you feel.
Psalm 62:8 says:
“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”
You can tell God that you are angry.
You can tell Him that you are hurt.
You can tell Him that you do not understand why someone was allowed to treat you that way.
You can ask Him to help you forgive.
You can ask Him to bring justice.
You can ask Him to protect you.
You can ask Him to heal what the experience damaged.
The goal is not to hide your emotions from God. The goal is to bring those emotions to Him rather than allowing them to control your actions.
Be Careful With Bitterness
There is a difference between remembering that someone hurt you and allowing bitterness to take over your heart.
Ephesians 4:31–32 says:
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Bitterness can keep us emotionally tied to the person who hurt us.
We may think we are holding onto anger because they deserve it, but sometimes we are the ones continuing to suffer because we cannot stop replaying what happened.
Healing does not happen simply because someone else receives punishment.
Sometimes healing begins when we place the situation in God’s hands and stop making revenge our responsibility.
That process may take time.
Forgiveness Does Not Mean What Happened Was Okay
Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood subjects when it comes to revenge.
Forgiving someone does not mean saying:
“It didn’t matter.”
“It wasn’t really that bad.”
“They didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I have to trust them again.”
“I have to let them back into my life.”
“I have to stay in this relationship.”
None of those things necessarily follow from biblical forgiveness.
Forgiveness means releasing personal vengeance and refusing to remain controlled by hatred.
There may still need to be boundaries.
There may still need to be consequences.
There may still need to be accountability.
And rebuilding trust, where appropriate, can take a long time.
Colossians 3:12–13 says:
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
Forgiveness is a Christian calling, but it should not be confused with pretending that serious wrongdoing never happened.
You Can Forgive Someone and Still Have Boundaries
This is especially important for people who have experienced abuse or ongoing manipulation.
The Bible does not require you to continually place yourself in harm’s way in order to prove that you have forgiven someone.
Wisdom and forgiveness can exist together.
You can say:
“I forgive you, but I cannot allow you to continue treating me this way.”
You can forgive someone and still end contact.
You can forgive someone and still report what they did.
You can forgive someone and still protect your children.
You can forgive someone and still seek professional or legal help.
You can forgive someone while recognizing that trust has been damaged and may never be restored in the same way.
Forgiveness deals with your response before God. It does not automatically remove every practical consequence of another person’s actions.
Jesus Taught Us to Love Our Enemies
Jesus gave His followers an incredibly difficult command.
Matthew 5:44 says:
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
Jesus was not teaching His followers to approve of evil or place themselves in unnecessary danger.
He was confronting the human tendency to divide people into those we love and those we believe deserve our hatred.
Christian love is not dependent on whether someone has earned our kindness.
It reflects the character of God.
That can be extremely difficult when the person who hurt you has caused serious damage. This is one reason we need God’s help rather than relying entirely on our own strength.
Pray for the Person Who Hurt You
Jesus specifically tells His followers to pray for those who persecute them.
That does not necessarily mean praying, “Lord, give them everything they want.”
It can mean asking God to bring them to repentance, restrain their wrongdoing, bring justice where necessary, and work in their life.
You can pray for someone while still keeping appropriate boundaries.
You can pray for their repentance without trusting them again immediately.
You can pray for justice while refusing personal revenge.
And you can pray for your own healing.
Sometimes the person who most needs your prayer is not the person who hurt you.
It is you.
You may need God to heal your anger, restore your peace, and help you move forward.
God Sees What People Do in Secret
One reason revenge can be so tempting is that we fear the person who hurt us will get away with it.
Perhaps nobody else knows what happened.
Perhaps the person has convinced everyone that they are innocent.
Perhaps they appear to be living a wonderful life while you are still dealing with the consequences of what they did.
But God sees what people do.
Hebrews 4:13 says:
“Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.”
Nothing is hidden from God.
You may not see justice immediately.
You may never see every consequence that comes from another person’s actions.
But you do not have to convince yourself that God has overlooked it.
He knows.
David Chose Not to Take Revenge on Saul
David provides one of the clearest biblical examples of refusing personal revenge.
King Saul was trying to kill David even though David had done nothing deserving of death.
At one point, David had an opportunity to kill Saul.
Instead, David refused.
1 Samuel 24:6 says:
“And he said unto his men, The LORD forbid that I should do this thing unto my master, the LORD’S anointed, to stretch forth mine hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD.”
David did not pretend Saul’s behaviour was acceptable.
He did not stop recognizing the danger Saul posed.
But he refused to take personal vengeance into his own hands.
David trusted God with the matter.
This is an important distinction: refusing revenge does not mean refusing wisdom.
David continued to protect himself from Saul. He simply refused to personally murder the man who was trying to kill him.
Joseph Chose Forgiveness After Betrayal
Joseph’s brothers betrayed him terribly.
They sold him into slavery and allowed their father to believe that Joseph had died.
Years later, Joseph had power over his brothers.
He could have used that position to destroy them.
Instead, he forgave them.
Genesis 50:19–20 says:
“And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
Joseph understood something important.
He was not God.
He did not need to take God’s place as judge.
His brothers had intended evil, and Joseph did not deny that. But he trusted God with what had happened and recognized that God had brought good from a situation that others had intended for evil.
Jesus Is Our Greatest Example
Jesus experienced betrayal, rejection, false accusations, humiliation, violence, and an unjust execution.
Yet He did not respond by seeking personal revenge.
1 Peter 2:23 says:
“Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:”
That final phrase is powerful.
Jesus “committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.”
He entrusted Himself to the Father.
As Christians, we are called to follow that example.
This does not mean that we will respond perfectly every time. It means that when we are hurt, we can learn to place ourselves and our situation into God’s hands rather than allowing revenge to control us.
What Should I Do When I Want Revenge?
When you feel that desire rising, pause before you act.
Do not send the message while you are furious.
Do not make a decision simply because you want the other person to hurt.
Do not retaliate just because you believe they deserve it.
Instead, bring the situation before God.
Ask yourself what is actually needed.
Do you need a boundary?
Do you need to remove yourself from an unsafe situation?
Do you need to report wrongdoing?
Do you need wise counsel?
Do you need to stop communicating with someone?
Do you need time to calm down before responding?
Do you need to forgive?
Do you need professional support because the hurt has become overwhelming?
These are very different questions from, “How can I hurt them back?”
Proverbs 15:1 says:
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Sometimes the wisest response is no immediate response at all.
Ask God to Heal the Part of You That Wants Revenge
Sometimes we focus so much on whether the other person deserves punishment that we forget what their actions have done to us.
Perhaps you are constantly angry.
Perhaps you cannot stop thinking about what happened.
Perhaps you are afraid to trust anyone.
Perhaps you feel humiliated.
Perhaps you are carrying grief that nobody else understands.
God cares about those wounds too.
Psalm 147:3 says:
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
Healing may take time.
You may need prayer, Scripture, supportive relationships, counselling, medical or professional help, or practical changes to your circumstances.
Seeking help does not mean you are failing spiritually.
Sometimes part of healing is allowing wise people to walk alongside you.
Bible Verses About Revenge
Romans 12:19
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Personal vengeance belongs to God.
Romans 12:17–18
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”
We are called to pursue peace where possible rather than repaying wrongdoing with wrongdoing.
Romans 12:21
“Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Do not allow someone else’s evil to determine the kind of person you become.
Deuteronomy 32:35
“To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.”
God is the ultimate judge of wrongdoing.
Proverbs 20:22
“Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee.”
Rather than taking revenge, Scripture calls us to wait on God.
Proverbs 24:29
“Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.”
We are warned against simply returning to another person what they have done to us.
Leviticus 19:18
“Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.”
God commanded His people not to live by personal vengeance and grudges.
Ephesians 4:31–32
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
God calls His people away from bitterness and toward forgiveness.
Colossians 3:13
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
We are called to extend the forgiveness we have received from Christ.
Matthew 5:44
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
Jesus calls His followers to respond to enemies with love rather than revenge.
Proverbs 15:1
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Our response can either reduce conflict or intensify it.
James 1:19–20
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
Uncontrolled anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
What If They Never Apologise?
This can be one of the hardest parts of forgiveness.
What if they never say sorry?
What if they do not admit what they did?
What if they continue telling other people that you were the problem?
What if they never seem to suffer any consequences?
You may not be able to control any of those things.
But you can decide what you will do with your own heart.
Forgiveness does not require another person’s apology before you can begin releasing your personal claim to revenge.
You can leave the matter with God.
That does not mean you stop seeking appropriate justice or protection. It means you stop making their repentance a condition for your own healing.
You Do Not Have to Carry Revenge Forever
When you have been deeply hurt, it can feel as though letting go of revenge means letting the person “win.”
But healing is not losing.
Forgiveness is not saying that they were right.
Trusting God with justice is not saying that injustice does not matter.
Setting boundaries is not hatred.
Seeking accountability is not revenge.
And moving forward does not mean that what happened was insignificant.
It means you are refusing to allow what someone did to you to control the rest of your life.
Psalm 55:22 says:
“Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
Bring the burden to God.
Let Him carry what you cannot carry forever.
Final Encouragement
If someone has hurt you deeply, I do not want to tell you simply to “get over it.”
Some wounds are incredibly painful.
Some betrayals change the way you see people.
Some forms of abuse leave consequences that take a long time to heal.
God sees that.
The biblical answer to revenge is not pretending that the pain does not matter. It is learning to place justice in God’s hands while taking wise steps to protect yourself, pursue appropriate accountability, and allow God to work on your heart.
You do not have to hurt someone back in order for God to know what happened.
You do not have to carry hatred forever.
And you do not have to become the person who hurt you.
Romans 12:19–21 gives us the direction clearly:
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
There may be times when you need to walk away.
There may be times when you need to seek protection.
There may be times when justice needs to be pursued.
But you do not have to make revenge your responsibility.
Give the matter to God.
Ask Him to heal your heart.
Seek wisdom for what you need to do next.
And keep moving forward with Christ.
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