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September 4, 2024
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September 4, 2024Respect is an important part of how we treat God and the people around us. Yet biblical respect is much deeper than simply having good manners or being polite.
The Bible connects respect with honour, humility, love, wisdom, self-control, and the way we view other people. It teaches us to honour God, treat others with dignity, respect our parents, show appropriate honour toward authority, and speak to people with grace.
At the same time, biblical respect does not mean agreeing with everything someone says or allowing someone to mistreat us. We can disagree with someone while remaining respectful. We can establish boundaries while refusing to become hateful. We can seek justice while still choosing not to repay evil with evil.
Ultimately, the way we treat people should reflect the character of the God we serve.
Quick Answer: What Does the Bible Say About Respect?
The Bible teaches Christians to honour God and treat other people with dignity, humility, kindness, patience, and love.
1 Peter 2:17 gives a simple summary:
“Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.”
Biblical respect begins with our relationship with God and extends outward into the way we treat other people.
It affects our speech, our relationships, our response to disagreement, our attitude toward authority, and even the way we treat people who cannot do anything for us in return.
What Does Respect Mean in the Bible?
Respect in the Bible is closely connected with the idea of honour.
To honour someone is to recognize their value or position and treat them accordingly. This does not mean that every person is always right or that every authority figure behaves correctly. It means that our treatment of people should not be controlled by pride, hatred, contempt, or selfishness.
Romans 12:10 says:
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”
Paul calls Christians to think beyond themselves.
Instead of always asking, “What about me?” we learn to consider other people too.
That requires humility.
It means listening instead of constantly interrupting. It means speaking carefully instead of using words to tear someone down. It means recognizing that another person’s feelings, dignity, and needs matter.
Respect does not require us to make ourselves less valuable. It teaches us to stop treating ourselves as though we are more valuable than everyone else.
Respect Begins With God
The Bible’s understanding of respect begins with God Himself.
Proverbs 9:10 says:
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”
The biblical fear of God is not simply being terrified of Him. It includes reverence, awe, and recognizing who God is.
When we understand that God is our Creator and Lord, it changes the way we live.
Ecclesiastes 12:13 says:
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”
Respect for God is therefore more than saying respectful words about Him. It involves listening to His Word and allowing His commands to shape our lives.
When God is treated as though He is unimportant, our view of everything else can become distorted.
But when we place Him where He belongs, it affects the way we speak, behave, make decisions, and treat other people.
Why Should Christians Respect Other People?
Every human being has been created by God.
Genesis 1:27 says:
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
This does not mean that every person behaves in a godly way.
People can be selfish, dishonest, cruel, abusive, or deeply sinful.
But another person’s sinful behaviour does not erase their humanity or give us permission to treat them as though they have no value.
Recognizing that people are created in God’s image gives Christians a reason to treat others with dignity.
That includes people we like.
It includes people we disagree with.
It includes people who are different from us.
And, although it can be particularly difficult, it even includes people who have treated us badly.
Respect Does Not Mean Agreeing With Everyone
One of the most important things to understand about biblical respect is that respect and agreement are not the same thing.
You can disagree with someone’s beliefs.
You can believe that someone’s behaviour is wrong.
You can correct someone.
You can say no.
You can establish boundaries.
You can leave an unhealthy relationship.
You can report wrongdoing.
And you can still choose to speak and act without unnecessary cruelty or contempt.
1 Peter 3:15 says:
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:”
Christians are called to stand for the truth, but Peter also describes the manner in which we should communicate it.
Truth does not require arrogance.
Conviction does not require insults.
Strength does not require cruelty.
Respect and How We Speak
Our words reveal a great deal about our character.
It is possible to say something technically true while communicating it in a cruel or unnecessarily humiliating way.
The Bible repeatedly calls God’s people to exercise self-control in their speech.
Proverbs 15:1 says:
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
A gentle response can prevent an argument from becoming something much worse.
That does not mean we should never speak firmly. There are times when difficult truths need to be addressed.
But there is a difference between speaking firmly and speaking cruelly.
Colossians 4:6 says:
“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
Our words should be truthful, but they should also be gracious.
Before responding in anger, it can be worth asking:
“Will what I am about to say help?”
“Am I correcting this person because I genuinely want what is right, or because I want to hurt them?”
“Am I speaking from wisdom or simply reacting emotionally?”
These questions can help us grow in biblical respect.
Respect Requires Listening
Respect is not only about what we say. It is also about whether we are willing to listen.
James 1:19 says:
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
Being “swift to hear” means being willing to listen before immediately reacting.
Sometimes we are so busy preparing our response that we never actually hear what another person is saying.
We may interrupt.
We may assume we already know their intentions.
We may dismiss their feelings.
We may become defensive before understanding the situation.
Listening does not mean agreeing.
It simply means giving someone enough dignity to hear them properly.
Respect and Humility
Pride and respect do not work well together.
When we believe we are always right, always more important, or always deserving of special treatment, it becomes easy to look down on other people.
Philippians 2:3 says:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
This does not mean believing that everyone else is literally more valuable than you are.
It means refusing to make yourself the centre of everything.
Humility allows us to admit when we are wrong.
It allows us to apologize.
It allows us to listen.
It allows us to learn from other people.
And it allows us to treat people with dignity even when they cannot offer us anything in return.
Respecting Your Parents
The Bible specifically commands children to honour their parents.
Exodus 20:12 says:
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
This command is part of the Ten Commandments.
Honouring parents can involve listening, showing gratitude, speaking respectfully, and recognizing the role they have in a child’s life.
At the same time, biblical honour does not mean that someone must tolerate abuse or remain in an unsafe situation simply because the person causing harm is a parent.
There are situations in which boundaries and protection are necessary.
Respect should never be used as a weapon to silence someone who is being harmed.
Respecting Authority
Scripture also speaks about respecting legitimate authority.
Romans 13:1 says:
“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
The broader passage addresses governing authorities and the role they have in maintaining order.
Christians should therefore avoid an attitude of contempt toward authority simply because they do not personally like someone in a position of authority.
At the same time, respect for authority does not mean that every action by an authority figure is automatically righteous.
Throughout Scripture, there are examples of God’s people refusing to obey commands that directly contradicted God’s commands. Daniel and the apostles provide examples of people remaining faithful to God when human authority demanded otherwise.
Respect and obedience are therefore related but not identical concepts.
Respect Within Marriage
Respect is also important within marriage.
Ephesians 5:33 says:
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
This passage should be understood alongside the broader teaching of Ephesians 5, where husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially.
Biblical marriage is not supposed to be a relationship where one person dominates the other.
Christian marriage calls both husband and wife toward love, humility, service, faithfulness, and honour.
Respect should not be used to demand that one spouse tolerate cruelty, manipulation, violence, or abuse.
A healthy biblical understanding of marriage does not separate love from the dignity and wellbeing of the other person.
Respect in Friendships and Everyday Relationships
Respect is not limited to family or marriage.
It applies to friendships, workplaces, churches, neighbours, and ordinary interactions with people we encounter throughout the day.
Philippians 2:4 says:
“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
This is a simple but challenging principle.
We naturally notice our own needs, when we are tired, when we are frustrated and know what we have been dealing with.
But other people have burdens we may know nothing about.
Respect encourages us to slow down and remember that other people have their own experiences, struggles, responsibilities, and feelings.
Sometimes respect looks as simple as being patient with someone who is having a difficult day.
Respect People Even When You Disagree
Disagreement is unavoidable.
People will disagree about politics, religion, parenting, relationships, work, money, culture, and countless other subjects.
The Bible does not command Christians to agree with everyone.
But it does call us to control the way we behave when we disagree.
Titus 3:2 says:
“To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.”
There is a difference between defending what you believe and attacking someone personally.
You can say, “I believe that is wrong,” without saying, “You are worthless.”
Can explain your convictions without mocking another person.
You can walk away from an argument rather than trying to win it through humiliation.
Respect does not weaken truth.
It changes the way we carry it.
Respect Does Not Mean Tolerating Abuse
This is an important distinction because the word “respect” can sometimes be used to pressure people into staying in harmful situations.
The Bible does not require you to allow someone to continually hurt you.
Jesus taught forgiveness, but forgiveness does not mean giving someone unlimited access to harm you again.
You can forgive someone and still have boundaries.
Can love someone and still say no.
You can pray for someone and still keep your distance.
Can refuse revenge while still seeking appropriate justice.
You can respect another person’s humanity without approving of their behaviour.
Romans 12:18 says:
“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”
Notice the wording: “If it be possible.”
Sometimes peace requires distance, sometimes a relationship cannot safely continue in the same form and sometimes outside help or accountability is necessary.
Biblical respect should never be interpreted as permission for ongoing abuse.
Respect and Treating Others as We Want to Be Treated
Jesus gave His followers a simple principle that applies to almost every relationship.
Matthew 7:12 says:
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”
Think about how you want people to treat you when you make a mistake.
You probably want someone to correct you without humiliating you.
When you are struggling, you probably want compassion rather than contempt, when you are speaking, you want to be heard and when you disagree, you want to be treated fairly.
Jesus calls us to extend that same consideration toward others.
Respect Is Connected to Love
Respect is not simply about following social rules.
It flows from love.
Jesus said:
Matthew 22:37–39 says:
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”
Love for God and love for others are central to Christian living.
When we genuinely care about people, we should not want to humiliate them, manipulate them, deceive them, or treat them as though they do not matter.
Respect becomes one practical expression of love.
Respect and the Golden Rule
The principle Jesus gave in Matthew 7:12 is often called the Golden Rule.
It challenges us to consider our behaviour from the other person’s perspective.
Before speaking, ask:
“Would I want someone to speak to me this way?”
Before embarrassing someone, ask:
“Would I want this done to me?”
Before dismissing someone, ask:
“Would I want someone to listen to me if I were in their position?”
This does not mean that every person will want exactly the same thing from us.
It means that we should not treat other people according to a standard we would hate to have applied to ourselves.
Respect Is Part of Christian Character
Respect is closely connected with many other qualities the Bible commands Christians to develop.
Colossians 3:12 says:
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;”
Look at the qualities Paul lists:
Mercy.
Kindness.
Humility.
Meekness.
Patience.
These qualities naturally affect how we treat other people.
A person who is growing in humility will usually become less concerned with proving their superiority.
When a person is growing in patience they will become less reactive.
A person growing in kindness will become more thoughtful about how their words affect others.
Respect is therefore not something we simply switch on when we remember our manners.
It grows as our character is shaped by Christ.
Bible Verses About Respect
1 Peter 2:17
“Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.”
This verse gives a broad picture of Christian respect: honour people, love fellow believers, reverence God, and show appropriate honour toward authority.
Romans 12:10
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”
Christians are called to treat one another with love and honour rather than selfish ambition.
Philippians 2:3
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
Humility protects us from treating others as though we are superior to them.
Matthew 7:12
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”
Jesus calls us to treat others according to the same standard of consideration we want for ourselves.
Proverbs 15:1
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Our words can either calm conflict or make it worse.
Colossians 4:6
“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
Christian speech should be gracious and thoughtful.
Ephesians 4:2
“With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;”
Humility, gentleness, patience, and love all contribute to respectful relationships.
Proverbs 9:10
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”
Reverence for God is foundational to biblical wisdom.
Ecclesiastes 12:13
“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”
Respect for God involves taking His commands seriously.
Exodus 20:12
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Children are instructed to honour their parents.
Romans 13:1
“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
Scripture teaches appropriate respect for governing authority.
1 Peter 3:15
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:”
Even when explaining our faith, Christians are called to communicate with meekness and reverence.
How Can I Become More Respectful?
Respect begins with the heart, so simply trying to appear polite on the outside is not enough.
Ask God to show you where pride, anger, impatience, or selfishness may be affecting the way you treat people.
Before responding when you are angry, pause.
Listen before assuming you know what someone means.
Think carefully about your words.
Apologize when you have spoken or acted wrongly.
Treat people with dignity regardless of their social position.
Be willing to admit when you are wrong.
And remember that you are not required to win every disagreement.
Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is speak honestly and then leave the argument alone.
James 1:19–20 says:
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
That is a powerful principle for everyday life.
Listen.
Think.
Then speak.
A Simple Prayer for Respect
If you know that you struggle with impatience, anger, pride, or harsh words, ask God to help you change.
You might pray:
“Lord, help me to honour You in the way I treat other people. Give me humility when I am tempted to think I am better than someone else. Help me to listen before I react and to speak with kindness and wisdom. Give me self-control when I am angry and courage to stand for what is right without becoming cruel. Help me know when I need to forgive, when I need to establish a boundary, and when I need to seek help. Let the way I treat others reflect the love and character of Jesus. Amen.”
Final Encouragement
Respect is not weakness.
It does not mean allowing people to walk all over you.
It does not mean agreeing with everyone.
And it does not mean remaining silent when something is wrong.
Biblical respect means choosing to treat people with dignity while allowing God’s character to shape the way you respond.
You can be strong without being cruel, you can disagree without being hateful.
It’s possible to establish boundaries without seeking revenge.
You can correct someone without humiliating them.
And you can stand firmly for what you believe while still showing humility and grace.
Most importantly, remember that respect begins with God.
When we learn to honour Him, His Word begins changing the way we see and treat the people around us.
Colossians 3:12 gives us a beautiful picture of the character we should pursue:
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;”
Those qualities do not make us weak.
They make us more like Christ.
And that is ultimately what biblical respect is about—not simply having better manners, but allowing our lives, our words, and our relationships to reflect the One we follow.
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